


Not A Participation Game -- Extended

by writingbymoonlight



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (Guess who’s side it’s on), Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Asexual Aromantic Pidge | Katie Holt (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Universe, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt (Voltron), Fluff, Fluff & Angst, Friends to Lovers, Galra Keith, Gay Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith has anxiety, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance’s POV, Long Distance Friendship, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Marmoran Keith, Panic Attacks, Shiro (Voltron) is a clone, but like... not really — Freeform, hints of Adashi, hints of Altean Lance, more tags to come… - Freeform, one-sided lancelot, rewrite of Shipsorsanity’s version, season 4 fix-it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-04 15:23:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16349237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingbymoonlight/pseuds/writingbymoonlight





	Not A Participation Game -- Extended

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Not A Participation Game](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14876594) by [Shipsorsanity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shipsorsanity/pseuds/Shipsorsanity). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is kind of a rewrite/adaptation of Shipsorsanity's "Not A Participation Game" and if you came here from their fic, welcome! If not, go check out Ship's (Shipses? Ships's?) fic and the rest of their works!
> 
> This fic takes place directly after episode 7 in Season 3, and kind of diverges off of the canon timeline from there 
> 
> that's all! Enjoy!  
> \- writingbymoonlight

All the paladins stood still, frozen in shock and mouths agape as they listened intently while Coran retold the tale of Voltron and how it came to be.

Lance glanced uneasily around at the others as Coran’s story began to take a darker turn; as Honerva grew more sinister and corrupt, and Zarkon’s trust with Alfor and the rest of the former paladins dwindled away. Lance’s eyes flicked around the circle, waging how everyone was taking the story. Hunk, who looked thoughtful and a little scared. Keith, who looked as stoick and brooding as ever. Shiro, who looked… exhausted. And Allura, who - Lance felt a pang of sympathy - looked anguished beyond belief, rooted to the spot as she listened helplessly to her father’s, and her home’s, demise.

Lance saw movement out of the corner of his eye and looked to the left of Allura. Pidge was shifting her weight from one foot to the other in an incessant sway as she trained her gaze to the floor by Coran’s feet with a determined expression. Lance could practically see the wheels in Pidge’s head turning as she began to put the pieces together for something that Lance still had yet to figure out.

Lance squinted at her as he tried to fit the pieces together as well; but before he could, Pidge gasped, her eyes widening as she whipped her head up to look at Lance, then around at the circle.

“So that’s Lotor’s plan,” she breathed, drawing the attention of the others. As everyone turned to her, she took off her glasses and nervously traced the wire rims with her thumbs before looking up to meet their gazes. “He’s going to cross into other universes to try and get the purest quintessence possible!”

Lance’s eyes widened and his mouth formed a small ‘o’ as he looked at Coran, who was nodding gravely.

Keith took a step forward, hands balling into fists as he came to the same conclusion. “We have to stop him, no matter what,” he spat, his eyes blazing with hostility.

Hunk nodded, lips pursed in a thin line as he looked down at his feet. Allura adjusted her stance and raised her chin, as if she dared to go after Lotor this very minute. Lance gulped and his nervous gaze flicked around the room, darting from Pidge to Keith to Shiro. He let out a shaky sigh before slipping on his signature smirk. 

“No problem!” Lance said walking into the center of the circle, waving his hand in the air as though shooing away an insect. “We've got this. We've just gotta go after Lotor, destroy him and his ships, free the enslaved planets and then we'll be the heroes of the universe!” He finished, leaning his arm on Keith's shoulder and shooting finger guns at Hunk, who gave him a small smile and a thumbs up. 

“Sounds like a plan to me!” he said, with a small laugh.

Lance heard a small scoff behind him and felt his elbow slip off Keith’s shoulder. Lance stumbled back a little, arms wheeling as he righted himself and turned back to look at him with a challenging look on his face. “Did you have something to say, Mullet?”

Keith looked surprised at being called out, but the look quickly faded as he crossed his arms over his chest and shifting his weight to one leg. “That’s all we have to do, huh?” he drily, fighting to keep a smile off of his face, “We just have to take on an army over two hundred times our size, and then free half of the known universe from Galra hands.” Keith looked over at Pidge, who had started to snicker. “That won't be hard at all.” Keith finished, looking at Lance with deadpan expression, save for the barely concealed amusement in his eyes.

Lance stepped forward as he opened his mouth to retort, but in his haste to defend himself, well… one foot went under the other and Lance frowned up at Keith and Pidge from his newfound spot on the floor. The red and green paladins looked at each other with twin looks of amusement on their faces before they stuck out their hands to help Lance up.

Lance groaned and flopped onto his back, ignoring the two hands in favor of lying his cheek against the cold metal floor of the control room (they seriously needed a new name for it). Lance’s gaze traveled across the floor until it was interrupted by a pair of black-toed boots belonging to the black paladin.

Lance sat up, leaning back on the palms of his hands as he looked at Shiro, who hadn't said a word since Coran finished the story.

“Shiro…” Lance asked hesitantly, “What’s our next move?”

Lance felt a stab of guilt as soon as the words left his mouth and his face fell as he saw Keith look away from him out of the corner of his eye. _Keith is the leader now,_ Lance chastised himself, _you’ve worked so hard to create this dynamic and build this trust, DON’T RUIN IT._ Lance tried to send Keith an apologetic look, but the red paladin just stared at the floor, eyes shooting up only to watch Shiro as the black paladin decided what to do next. Lance turned to look as well.

Shiro was staring ahead into the vastness of space, his face a blank mask. The only sign that he had heard what Lance had asked was in the furrowing of his brow as he thought.

“Everybody should get some rest,” he advised in his most authoritative tone as he turned to face the group, “We don’t know when we might run into another Galran fleet, so we should take the time we have to rest up and prepare,” Shiro continued, crossing his arms over his chest as he finished.

Everyone nodded, murmuring their agreements and looked around the room at each other but didn’t move away from the circle, not wanting to be the first to break the silence. They stood there, gazes glancing from person to person in anticipation as the lull grew to an uncomfortable, awkward stretch of silence. Hunk shuffled his feet looked to Lance with an uneasy look on his face. Lance just shrugged and raised an eyebrow at the yellow paladin in a questioning gesture.

Keith was the first to leave, letting out a huff as he turned his back on the group. As he walked out of the room, Lance heard the crisp, metallic _ching_ of a bayard being unsheathed before the bay doors closed behind him. The clanging of the doors echoed through the room, breaking the other’s out of their trance and the paladins dispersed, leaving Allura and Shiro alone to discuss strategies.

Lance trudged back to his room, his shoulders slumping with exhaustion. Between fighting nonstop battles with Lotor and the rest of the Galra, and freeing enslaved planets, Lance was as tired as the rest of the paladins. The hallway back to his room seemed much longer than normal and when Lance made it to his room, he didn't even get under the covers before he plopped onto his bed and was instantly asleep.

  
>>><<<

Lance woke with a start, lifting his head out of an expanding pool of drool. He grimaced as he sat up, a wave of pain shooting up his neck and Lance carefully rolled his head from side to side to stretch out the ache. _Note to self,_ Lance thought as he yawned and wiped the drool off of his cheek, _don't sleep in paladin armor._ Lance sighed as slowly got out of bed, stretching each of his limbs in turn and then sat back down on the edge of the bed to take off his armor. Once all of the armor was piled up on the bed, Lance changed into his casual clothes with his signature jacket, then scooped up the armor to take it down to the armory.  
  
When Lance stepped into the hallway he almost dropped the armor in his arms as he caught a whiff of a delicious smell that filled the corridor. Hunk must have been baking something. Lance practically flew down to the armory, throwing his armor onto the stand before racing back to the elevator, impatiently tapping his foot as the lift rose. Hunk's preferred method of relaxation was and always has been baking and he always made enough food for everyone, so no one was about to complain.

As soon as the door to the elevator opened, Lance jumped out and followed the smell into the kitchen, where Hunk was just pulling out a batch of cookies from the oven. Lance's mouth started to water just _looking_ at the cookies. They looked just like chocolate chip cookies, but Lance knew that they were probably even better because of the alien ingredient substitutes.

Lance darted into the room and snatched a cookie off the tray.  
  
"Lance, wait!" Hunk warned Lance, not even bothering to be startled as Lance danced away from Hunk's reach. Lance's smug expression soon vanished however, his eyes bugged and he hot potatoed the cookie from hand to hand before dropping it onto the table. Lance whimpered and shook out his hands, giving Hunk a wounded look.  
  
Hunk shrugged at the blue paladin unapologetically, "Hey, you stole it not me. I have no remorse for you."  
  
Lance made an offended noise. "Hunk, you cruel, cruel cinnamon roll. Here I was, expecting sympathy from my best friend and all I get is pain." He was smiling as he said it though and he hefted himself onto the tabletop, picking up the cookie gingerly. It was now a comfortable room temperature that wouldn't burn Lance's fingers off so Lance bit into the cookie, relishing it's sweet, moist, warm taste.  
  
"Listen, Lance," Hunk said tentatively, setting down the tray and rubbing the back of his neck as he turned to face the blue paladin, "Don't take this the wrong way and I usually like it while you keep me company while I bake, but I was kinda hoping for some alone time? It's been a rough couple of days... weeks?" Hunk scratched the back of his head and sighed defeatedly. "See?! I don't even know what day it is anymore." He sighed again and lowered his head, running a hand down his face.

Lance wasn't too surprised, disappointed? Yes. But he'd seen Hunk like this before, during exam week at the Garrison. "No problem, buddy!" Lance reassured, patting Hunk on the shoulder as the yellow paladin walked by.  
  
"Wait," Hunk opened the cupboard and pulled out a plate. He took some of the cookies off of the pan and placed them on the china. "Here, take these to the lounge and see if anyone wants one." Hunk handed the plate to Lance with an guilty look. “Again, I’m really sorry.”

“Hunk, it fine!” Lance said. “And c’mon, who wouldn’t want one of your culinary masterpieces!” Lance slid off the table and started to back out of the kitchen with the plate in hand. "Have fun cooking!" He winked and stepped out into the hallway, smile stretched thin as he watched Hunk turn away from him and back to the holo-recipe on the table. Then the door closed in front of Lance's face and he sighed, smile slipping off his face as he turned and trudged down the hall toward the lounge.

As the doors to the lounge opened Lance took a deep breath, letting the light citrusy scent that the room possesed envelop him. Lance took a step in and looked around the room, spotting one person sitting on the sunken-in couches. A person with a very signature mullet.

Keith was sitting criss crossed on the couch with a book in his lap, resting his elbow on his knee while his chin was settled on the palm of his hand, and Lance's breath totally didn't hitch when he saw Keith's face.

His face was calm, not a single hint of irritation or aggression in his expression. It was so unlike what Lance was used to. Keith always seemed to have an aura of hostility around him; endless walls and fronts built up that no one could seem to break down. Lance prided himself on thinking that he had managed to let down one of those walls when they had talked about the six paladins, five lions issue. Lance smiled, once the two paladins had gotten past their slightly one-sided rivalry, Keith was actually pretty fun to hang out with. When he wasn't being overly serious about training and Voltron that is, although he had reason to worry with this whole Lotor situation.

Lance shook his head, pushing all those thoughts aside, and walked over to the couches. Using the couches as a step to the lower part of the floor, Lance stepped down. He paused to set the plate down on the semi-circular table before plopping down onto the couch, startling Keith out of - what Pidge called - "The Reader Trance".

"What's up, buttercup?" Lance teased, cringing internally as the words escaped his mouth and he tried to play it off by resting his elbows on the top of the couch.

Keith frowned, his usual look of irritation appearing on his face. "Don't call me that," he muttered, trying to sound angry, but there was no real heat to his words.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Lance said airily, waving a hand in Keith's direction and reached for another cookie.

Keith perked up and peered over his book, "Hunk's been stress baking again?"

Lance laughed, "You could say that. He ended up kicking me out of the kitchen." As he talked, Lance grabbed an extra cookie and handed in to Keith.

Keith snorted at Lance's words. "That doesn't surprise me in the slightest," he said slyly and reached forward to accept the cookie Lance was holding out to him, only to have Lance squeak indignantly and pull the cookie away.

"Seriously, Lance?" Keith raised his eyebrows as the blue paladin stuffed the entirety of the once offered cookie into his mouth with a defiant expression, only to begin choking on it a second later, sliding down the couch and hunching over the table as he coughed.

_"Lance!"_ Keith half yelled, half laughed as Lance managed to swallow the cookie and turned back to Keith with a glare as he sat back down on the couch as though nothing had happened. He crossed his arms over his chest and turned up his nose at Keith.

"Your fault."

_"My fault?"_ Keith looked appalled as he reached for a cookie himself, "That was _clearly_ karma."

"Pfff, karma.” Lance rolled his eyes, “You’re just superstitious. I mean, you did have a conspiracy board back in that pitiful little shack of yours.”

Keith raised an eyebrow and leaned back on the couch, taking a bite of his cookie and chewing thoughtfully before answering, "I suppose I could just be superstitious and _you_ could just be petty." And with that, Keith returned to his book.

Lance stared at Keith, "Wait- but- you can't just end an argument like that!"

Keith just smirked and turned a page.

Lance huffed and slumped against the couch, tilting his head up to look at the ceiling. He stayed like that for a while in a slightly awkward but mostly comfortable silence, listening as Keith turned pages of his book and eventually reached for another cookie. Lance turned his head to watch Keith reassume his position and go back to reading, his mouth slightly open and moving as he silently mouthed a word; trying to decipher it. Lance tucked that detail away for later.

Finally, Lance's curiosity got the better of him and he sat up and cleared his throat. Keith looked up questioningly.

"So, whatcha reading?" Lance asked tilting his head to read the title, but something was... off.

Keith closed the book and looked at the cover as well. "I'm kind of wondering that myself," he remarked drily and turned the cover so Lance could read it... except he couldn't. The title was written in Altean. 

"Oh," Lance said, then started to laugh. He slid down the couch as his shoulders shook and tears brimmed the corners of his eyes as he looked up at Keith from his spot halfway onto the floor. Keith looked at Lance with a small grin and a bemused look on his face.

“Umm,” Keith stared at Lance’s blinding smile, “What’s so funny?”

Lance's laughter died down and he shrugged, shoulders still shaking. "I don't know, you looked pretty involved in a book that you can't even read."

Keith rolled his eyes, "I'm practicing my Altean, thank you very much. We can't all be Pidge." Pidge had picked up the Altean dialect much quicker than the rest of the paladins and was always sneaking in side comments to Allura or Coran. Lance shook his head at the memories, "No we can't."

"Anyway, Allura said this was an interesting book for a, uh- _beginner_ , so I decided to read it." Keith continued, pursing his lips and rubbing his thumb along the cover of the book.  

“Oh.” Lance sobered up pretty quickly at the thought of Allura recommending a book to Keith, then he realized he was being ridiculous. Lance repositioned himself on the couch, pulling his legs up to match Keith’s crisscrossed seating, leaning his elbows on his knees and resting his chin on the palms of his hands. “ _Oh._ So it’s a _children’s_ book?”

Keith’s face flushed, “What- no- I-” he flailed.

Lance laughed and raised his hands in mock surrender, "Woah, I'm just kidding. You're doing way better than I am at catching up on all this Altean stuff than me, although I do wish I actually knew something useful so I could understand what Pidge and Allura are saying."

Keith relaxed and set the book on his knee. "I overheard one of their conversations once and all they were talking about was peanut butter?"

Lance snorted.

"Also, thanks for the compliment. Although saying I'm doing better than you isn't saying much," Keith continued with a smirk.

Lance gasped and turned away from Keith with his arms crossed, "Nevermind, I take back what I said."

Keith laughed. It was a light, cheery sound that bubbled up from his stomach quick and fast, and Lance turned back to look at him, startled at the sound.

"What are you even doing in here reading?" Lance continued, trying to steer his attention away from Keith's strangely endearing laugh. "I mean, aside from the fact that Allura told you that the book was good. I thought you'd be on the training deck fighting like... a level 50 bot."

Keith smile morphed into a scowl and he looked down at his book "Shiro kicked me out of the training room," he crossed his arms over his chest, "He said that I was overdoing it or something."

Lance rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of a comment that wouldn't make Keith upset. "Yeah well, Shiro's probably right. _I MEAN-_ " Lance blurted rapidly as Keith whipped his head up to glare at Lance, "I just mean, you're prone to training until you sometimes literally pass out. Which is like, _not_ healthy, dude."

Keith stuck out his bottom lip a little, then he sighed. "Okay, yeah. For once I'll agree with you."

Lance's eyebrows raised.

_"For once!"_ Keith emphasized when he saw Lance's face. Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his bangs falling right back in front of his eyes after he did so. "Shiro's been way more uptight since he escaped from that Galra base. It's like he's a different person."

Lance nodded empathically. "I know what you mean. But can you really blame him? Being imprisoned and tortured by the Galra _again_ has got to do something to you." _Not to mention the fact that Shiro had been floating around in space, dying of starvation, dehydration and oxygen deprivation before Keith found him. Of course he's going to be more commanding and paranoid._

"I just think it's weird." Keith said, rubbing his arm. "First Shiro disappears without a trace, then he shows up months later and says he escaped from a Galra prison. It's not that I doubt him, but don't you think that it was too easy?" Keith looked up at Lance, "I mean, no one destroyed his escape pod, they just damaged it. No one went to see if he was still alive once he crash landed on that planet. No one thought to follow a Galran ship that most definitely had a tracker in it. Isn't that suspicious? This is the _Galra_ , they're more thorough than that."

Lance frowned. Keith had a good point, why hadn't the Galra tried to follow Shiro's ship once it crashed onto the planet? "Maybe they just thought he would die on the planet and Shiro got lucky?" Lance guessed, trying to sound reassuring.

Keith nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right," he said, not sounding convinced.

Lance sighed and looked down at his feet. Could Shiro really have escaped because the Galra wanted him to? What would that accomplish? Did the Galra have a bigger plan for team Voltron? And speaking of the team...

"Ummm, Keith?" Lance asked, turning to the red paladin, who was biting his lip and staring intently at the ground in deep thought, brow furrowed with unease. Lance cleared his throat and Keith looked up, his eyes filled with such a look despair that Lance nearly forgot to speak.

“Yeah?” Keith asked, an unreadable mask hastily replacing his look of distress.

“I- um-” Lance fumbled for the right words. “Well, um, remember yesterday- er- a few days ago, when you offered to stay behind on the Castle for the mission?” Lance looked at Keith for recognition.

Keith looked down and fidgeted with a loose string on his jacket cuff. “...Yeah.”

“I just wanted to say thanks.”

“No problem,” Keith replied stiffly, still not looking at Lance. “Besides, Shiro’s the true black paladin anyway.”

Lance dropped his head and tried to meet Keith’s eyes. “Keith, don’t say that,” Lance said softly, “The black lion _rejected_ Shiro, you’re the black paladin now.”

Before the last word even left Lance’s mouth, Keith had stood up abruptly; his knuckles turning white as he clutched his book tightly to his chest. He turned away from Lance.

“Keith-” Lance started, but Keith cut him off.

“I- I just remembered,” Keith stammered as he hurried to the door, pausing in the door frame to quickly turn and glance at Lance then back at the exit indecisively. “I… left my bayard on the training deck,” Keith explained hastily and his eyes darted back toward the door, “I’ll see you later, Lance.” And then he was gone. Lance could faintly hear Keith’s footsteps as he bolted away and the doors clanged shut hollowly. 

Lance stared at the door for a few seconds before he rushed back to the present. He jumped to his feet and hurried after Keith. 

In hindsight, it might not have been the best idea to chase after someone to confront them about a touchy subject when said person is exceptionally skilled in hand-to-hand combat. But Lance’s curiosity and determination blocked out his impulse control. 

“Keith!” He shouted as he ran down the hall and grabbed Keith’s hand. Keith turned and looked down at his hand,  then at Lance ; mouth open in surprise. Then Keith’s gaze hardened and he wrenched his hand out of Lance’s grasp, fixing him with a steely glare.

“What do you want?” Keith snapped. His cheeks were flushed in anger, but his eyes were tired and troubled; as if he wanted nothing more than to leave, to get away. 

Every instinct in Lance screamed at him to back out. To blow off his question and to let Keith continue walking. Lance just wanted to walk away with a casual, backhand comment and just  _ get out  _ of this situation. Lance definitely didn't want to continue with a question that would most certainly set Keith off, but he wanted to know… 

“I was just wondering  _ why _ you volunteered to stay on the Castle for the mission.” Lance looked up at Keith and took a subtle step backward, hands behind his back. 

Keith looked down, his face a stony mask. The silence between the two stretched and Lance jumped in to fill it. 

“I mean, I know you ended up having to pilot Black anyway, but I would think that if Shiro had been able to pilot Black then you would want to get back to Red because you miss her.” 

Keith looked up at Lance as he continued to ramble. A shadow of a sad smile flitted across his face.

“I mean, I'm just assuming because I miss Blue and I'm not saying I don't like Red, I love her. It's just, you’re the best pilot here and you should have been the last person to stay behind, especially since I'm-” 

“Lance, stop,” Keith commanded, holding his hand out in front of Lance's face. Lance’s rambling cut off abruptly as he stared at Keith's hand in astonishment. 

Keith sighed and let his hand drop back down by his side. “I told you to stop worrying about being left out.” His voice was softer than before and Lance stared at him a second in surprise before he was off again. 

“But it doesn't make any strategic sense!” Lance protested, arms flailing, “I told you, Keith. This is war. We have to win, for the whole universes sake and I can't be holding the team back! Did you risk all that just to make a point? That Lance McClain needs to be on a mission to keep himself busy? So that he feels valued? Because that backfired big time didn't it?!” Lance was shouting by now but he didn't care. Because it was the  _ truth.  _ He didn’t deserve a spot on the team. 

Keith’s eyes were wide and Lance noticed that he had taken several tentative steps away from him as he ranted. Lance sucked in a deep breath and met Keith’s gaze. 

Keith’s face softened. “Lance…” 

“No, it’s fine,” Lance said, turning his head and bringing is hands up, “I’m fine.”

“Lance, you’re not the weakest link,” Keith said in a whisper, “you need to get that out of your head.” 

Lance turned back to Keith in surprise, then his facade crumbled and his shoulders slumped, “But-”

“ _ No.  _ Lance, the Blue and Red lions chose you because they saw your strengths. They saw that you were kind, and smart, and funny and- ah.” Keith ran a hand down his face. “Look, I’m shit with words, but I had you go out with the team because I knew you would be useful. And you were! I did what was best for the team, and aside from being a really good pilot, you’re our sharpshooter. We need you out on the field with us.”

Lance stared at Keith as he spoke, his heart thudding in his chest. Lance cleared his throat, “That… makes sense. Thank you, Keith.” He offered a half hearted smile. 

The corner of Keith’s mouth twitched. “Well, you better get some sleep. We need our sharpshooter to be well rested.”

Lance laughed and the two of them began to head in different directions. As Lance reached his room he called out, “Hey, Keith?”

Keith turned his head. 

“You should get some rest too. We need our leader to make quick decisions, ya know.”

Lance thought he saw a smile on Keith’s face before he walked through his door. “Goodnight, Lance.” Then his door closed. 

“Goodnight,” Lance said into the empty air. Then he walked into his room, his door closing behind him. Lance backed up until his back hit the door and tilted his head up, sighing and trying to ignore the flutter in his heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the first chapter! I'm kinda new to this whole thing so I'm not exactly sure what to put in the notes yet but I'd just like to thank Shipsorsanity for letting me make a fic inspired from their work, I really appreciate it and anyone actually reading this note should go check out the rest of their works!
> 
> The next chapter should be coming out in about a week or so, so stay tuned folks! (How does that sound cheesy even in writing?)
> 
> anyway, that's all, bai!


End file.
